


Saudade

by apple_pi (kozushou)



Series: life's so complex, all I want is me and you [2]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Fluff, M/M, Shou's on his volleyball team and travels a lot, kenma misses his sunshine boyfriend so much, no matter what the summary may sound like it's just a whole lot of fluff, they're so in love wtf im love them, this isn't angsty i swear
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-15
Updated: 2016-12-15
Packaged: 2018-09-08 17:55:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,965
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8855263
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kozushou/pseuds/apple_pi
Summary: Saudade(n.) a nostalgic longing to be near again to something or someone that is distant, or has been loved and then lost; the love that remainsShouyou leaves with the rest of his college volleyball team for another set of tournaments, and Kenma spends that time missing his boyfriend





	

**Author's Note:**

> I was given the prompt “I might have slept with your robe when you were gone.” so here this is!

Kenma has never really missed someone before. Growing up, his parents were very busy people and were either always at work or travelling a lot, and it was such a natural part of his life that he was never really aware that he should be feeling lonely without them around. Kuro came into his life when they were both relatively young, and there were a few times where he grew to miss having someone to talk to about games whenever they were apart, but that wasn’t necessarily missing Kuro himself.

He’d always preferred his own company over that of anyone else, and could easily spend days by himself without social interaction. The very thought of enjoying being around someone, to crave being in their presence like he craves air, had never been a serious possibility to him. Yet here he is. Twenty years of age and missing his boyfriend like he’d never thought it was possible to miss someone.

Shouyou had left with the rest of his college volleyball team just over a week ago, off to another set of tournaments that they were sure to win. It’s not the first time that Shouyou has had to leave for volleyball, and it’s far from being the last.

A sigh heaves itself from Kenma as the words TRY AGAIN? flash on the screen in front of him. He clicks EXIT TO MAIN MENU and drops the controller onto the couch with a groan. His phone  _ pings  _ with a message from where he’d left it resting on his thigh, and he doesn’t have to glance at the contact name to know that it’s from Shouyou. The text, as always, consists of randomly placed heart emojis and an overload of exclamation points.

Kenma’s heart swells with affection as he sends a message back, wishing his ray of sunshine luck in his match. Shouyou always texts him right before matches, insisting that he needs “extra luck from my super cute boyfriend!!!”

It takes a few moments for Shouyou to reply, thankfully a much shorter time than it would have taken back in his first year of high school when he still had one of those flip phones and had to press each button several times to get the letter he wanted. Kenma grimly remembers the times spent waiting up to half an hour for a simple “good night” message from Shouyou.

_ Sunshine: aaaah i lvoe you kenma i gotta go i love you!!!!!! _

An easy grin slips onto Kenma’s face as he sends back a message of heart and flexing emojis. He uncrosses his legs and stretches them out, yawning happily as he drops his phone beside the controller. 

It takes a few moments of talking himself into standing up before he heaves himself off the couch and slips into their kitchen. Their mugs are on the counter (Shouyou’s a nice sky blue with cute volleyballs on it and Kenma’s orange with black cat paw prints) and he sets the kettle to boil on his way to take the tins of coffee and sugar out of the cupboard. For a second he goes to grab his mug, hesitates, and then picks up Shouyou’s. It’s got a small chip out of the rim from where Shouyou had dropped it a few months back after laughing too hard at his own joke, and love hearts scribbled on the handle in various colours of markers from Natsu’s first visit to the apartment. A smile tugs at his lips as he adds a teaspoon of coffee and three of sugar (he still remembers Shouyou’s excited voice squeaking “you take your coffee so sweet!” the first time he’d seen Kenma make his own coffee) to Shouyou’s mug, turning to lean against the counter while he waits for the kettle to boil.

The apartment feels strangely empty without Shouyou in it. There’s his textbooks on various flat surfaces all throughout the apartment, and their collection of plants scattered everywhere that had been steadily increasing from the first time Shouyou had brought home a cute little succulent. Their bed has the sheets that Shouyou had helped decide on, his old Karasuno uniform hangs in their closet (Kenma’s cheeks heat up as he remembers all of the things they’ve done with Shouyou wearing that uniform - both in and after high school), his toothbrush is in the bathroom and his favourite towels are folded in the closet with Kenma’s.

There’s Shouyou all around him, but at the same time feeling like this reminds Kenma of when they were in high school.

Distance had tended to separate the two for weeks at a time, and whenever they were able to visit each other it was always that much harder to leave. This is worse though. This is being together for months, waking up in each other’s arms and falling asleep together (as long as one or both of them didn’t have assignments or homework that had to be done), Shouyou’s smiling face pressing eager kisses to every inch of Kenma that he can reach whenever he gets home from practice or classes. This is the soft domesticity of being absolutely wrapped up in everything about each other, and then suddenly going without.

He catches sight of himself in the window, and leans closer to peer at himself. He’d long since grown his natural hair out, and it frames his face in a way that makes his eyes look almost startlingly bright. He ducks down to rifle through one of the drawers, where he knows they keep elastic bands, and ties his hair back so it’s out of his face. It’s almost as though he can hear Shouyou the first time he’d seen Kenma with his natural hair, gasping and then shouting “you look so pretty Kenma!” Shouyou’s always saying things like that, turning Kenma into a mess of blushing and stuttering and a racing heartbeat.

The kettle beeps loudly, pulling him from his reverie, and he turns to pour the hot water into Shouyou’s mug. 

He pulls a face when he ends up having to use the last of the milk, annoyed at the prospect of having to go out and get more whenever he next feels like a coffee, and leaves the empty milk bottle on the counter as he cradles the mug in his hands and makes his way back to the lounge room, careful not to spill a drop.

His phone repeatedly pings from its place on the couch as message after message comes through, and Kenma sighs. Shouyou would still be in his match, so it was most likely Kuro talking about the date that he’d had with Bokuto.

Kenma places the mug on the desk beside their couch, and scrolls through the messages. He sends a text of his own, expressing his happiness that their date had gone well, and then curls up back in his usual spot to keep playing his game and hopefully pass the level that had been bugging him ever since Shouyou had left.

* * *

Kenma yawns, steam following him from the bathroom as he walks down the hall to their room. He slips the towel off from around his waist and tugs on a pair of boxers, picking one of Shouyou’s shirts from his drawer and tugging that on too. It’s been nine days (ten, Kenma realises when he glances at the alarm on their desk and notices that it’s past 12) since Shouyou left, and he’s due back some time that day. His team had won, just like Kenma knew they would, and he fills with pride again at the very thought.

He grabs his phone and sends Shouyou a good night text, crawling into bed. His phone pings, and warmth spreads through his chest at the message he gets back.

_ Sunshine: gn kenma i love you soooooo much bby sleep well ily!!!! _

Kenma hides his grin in the collar of Shouyou’s shirt, rolling onto his boyfriend’s side of the bed. His pillow smells like the warm, sweet ginger shampoo that he uses, and Kenma finds himself melting into the mattress. The thought of Shouyou being back soon, wrapped in his arms and smiling and  _ Shouyou _ , makes Kenma’s toes wriggle eagerly and his cheeks hurt from smiling.

Ever since the first time Shouyou had left for a training camp after they’d moved in together, Kenma had taken to sleeping with something of Shouyou’s. A shirt, a hoodie, the cat plush that Kenma had given Shouyou when he finally graduated. Lately, it’s been his bathrobe. Yachi had been the one to buy the robe for Shouyou for his birthday, a cute pink and white piece with white bunny ears on the hood. Shouyou says that it makes him feel cute, and it’s not uncommon to see him walking around their apartment in nothing but that robe.

Another yawn slips from him as he cuddles the robe tight to him, smelling like warmth and sunshine and something distinctly Hinata Shouyou, and he falls asleep to the thought of his boyfriend returning when he wakes up.

* * *

 

It’s 2pm and Kenma has slept the whole day away. He wakes to the sound of the front door closing, and Shouyou’s voice shouting, “Kenma? Where are you, babe?”

He barely has time to shoot up in bed before Shouyou’s peeking in, face lighting up when he sees Kenma.

Kenma croaks, “Shouyou.” with his voice raspy from sleep, and then he has an armful of sunshine. Bright orange hair tickles his nose, he feels Shouyou press excited kisses to his neck and shoulder, feels Shouyou’s hands eagerly clutching at Kenma’s (his) shirt, and Kenma finally feels truly at home for the first time since Shouyou had left.

“I missed you so much Kenma!” Shouyou pulls back, his dark brown eyes glittering in the way that only his can, soft lips pulled into a toothy grin. Kenma loves this smile. Eyes crinkled at the sides, nose scrunched slightly, dimples on show. He’s grown a lot since they had first met several years ago. Added a few extra inches in height, filled out more once he’d reached around his second year, gotten several ear piercings and grown out his hair. He always has a head full of various cute hairclips holding his fringe back, and carries around several hair ties on his wrist at any given time to tie his hair up.

He presses a sleepy kiss to Shouyou’s temple, mumbling, “missed you too, kitten.”

Shouyou nuzzles into the kiss, giving a happy little noise, and they stay like that for a few moments while Kenma tries to wake up properly.

“Hey Kenma,” Shouyou suddenly says, and Kenma gives an answering hum. “Are you sleeping with my robe?”

Kenma’s face flushes faster than ever before as he jerks back, stuttering. “No. Maybe? Yeah. Yes. I….I might have slept with your robe when you were gone. And your shirt. And on your side of the bed. And I used your mug too. Sorry.”

Shouyou smiles, shifting to straddle Kenma’s hips, and cradles his face as he presses adoring kisses everywhere he can reach. “I don’t mind Kenma! It’s really cute of you! I’m not sure if you noticed but I took your favourite hoodie with me. It reminds me of home whenever I'm gone!”

A burst of warmth spreads through Kenma’s chest, feeling like happiness and adoration, and he rolls them over till Shouyou’s underneath him, flushed and giggling and so, so perfect. Kenma whispers “I love you” as they kiss, and watches Shouyou’s eyes soften as he leans up to whisper “I love you too”.

Kenma has early morning class the next day, but for now the most important thing is cuddling and showering this ray of sunshine with all of the love he has to give.

**Author's Note:**

> Kenma misses his morning class. Shouyou apologizes profusely for distracting him. Kenma finds a way to show him that he's more than fine with being distracted. Also, Kenma finally passes that level with Shouyou back at his side again


End file.
